Bugs at 1AM When I'm Supposed to Be Sleeping
It's 1AM. I should be asleep, like a functioning adult. But instead, I'm here — laying on my couch, Netflix blaring, staring into the abyss of my own code, trying to understand why this thing that worked an hour ago is now on fire.
This is my bug-hunting ritual. Night mode. Sanity: off.
Step 1: Panic in Silence
It always starts the same way: I run the app after making what I assume is a genius-level change. Then... No explanation. Just...
TypeError: 'NoneType' object is not subscriptable
Amazing. Beautiful. I’ve never felt so betrayed by my own code. What even is None? How did it get here? What does it want from me?
Step 2: Add a Print Statement
The sacred rite of debugging.
print("got here")
I put it everywhere. At the top of the function. Inside the loop. After every line that looks even remotely suspicious. Did it print? No? Move it. Try again. Repeat until either the bug shows itself or I reach spiritual ascension.
Sometimes I leave the prints in, like battle scars. Evidence of a war I barely survived.
Step 3: Blame Something Else
I start looking for external culprits:
- Maybe it's the interpreter.
- Maybe my environment is cursed.
- Maybe Gnome Text Editor is hiding invisible characters out of spite.
I open and close the same .py file 17 times. I edit code in a default Gnome text editor with no linting, no completion, no debugger. I’m raw-dogging Python like it's 2006 still.
Step 4: Stack Overflow Despair Scroll
I copy the error message and paste it into Google like a confession. I add “Python 3.12” to the query like it will help. I find a thread from 2009. I copy the code. It does not help.
Shame. Lets try ChatGPT now?
Step 5: Suddenly It Works?
Here’s the worst part.
Most of the time, hours later, I find the bug — and it’s not some intricate threading issue or obscure interpreter edge case.
No. It’s five keystrokes.
- A missing return
- A variable name typo
- An off-by-one index
- A line of code I thought I saved but didn’t
- One rogue not in a conditional that changed the laws of physics
The entire evening collapses into that one moment: I realize it’s my fault.
I caused this. I am the bug.
Then I sit there, staring at the fix, wondering how a single missing character just ate three hours of my life and part of my will to live.
I fix it. I commit.
I pretend it never happened.
Until the next time.
Step 6: Victory Snack
It's 2:47AM. I’m upright. The bug is gone. The logs are clean.
I open the fridge. I eat cold leftovers. I think about documenting the fix. I do not document the fix.
I go to bed wide awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering what it all meant.
Debugging at 1AM isn’t a process. It’s a lifestyle. A slow descent into a state where I question every decision I’ve ever made — professionally and otherwise — until somehow, through brute force and spite, I emerge victorious.
If I ever fix a bug without going through this sequence, I assume it wasn’t real.